I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
