anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
