i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
