Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Randomize
