I look better un-naked...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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