What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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