I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Randomize
