what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
