Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
