fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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