just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
