apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Everything about him screamed your future.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Randomize
