I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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