I wish I could punch you in the face.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
