Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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