She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize