I want to stick my p in your. b.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
be right there i have to get my cape
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
