If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
