I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
