dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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