I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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