You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
