Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
