I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
