he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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