yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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