You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
