He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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