please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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