He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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