are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
