How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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