I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
