strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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