You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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