He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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