drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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