Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
COCAINE IS GR8
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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