She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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