I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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