whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
oh god was she eating orange peels again
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
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I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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