Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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