We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
