So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
