Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
