So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
