she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
