He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
