I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
