Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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