Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
