he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
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Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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