Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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