I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
