thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
operation harelip BJ is a go
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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