We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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