But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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