I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
