This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I understand Curling. That high.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
