Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
